Andy’s Man Club – a safe, non-judgemental space to meet

Start to feel the true value of Andy’s Man Club when the third or fourth guy has spoken and shared his most troubling problems

A group of men from Andy’s Man Club, together they face the future, stronger and united
Image credit
Andy's Man Club

Meetings are held on Mondays from 7pm in the heart of Hammersmith; and offer a supportive, non-judgemental space for men aged from 18 to 80 plus, helping them navigate the storms of life that can sometimes overwhelm.

This branch, just three minutes' stroll from Hammersmith tube station, is one of over 300 UK branches of a charity set up to address mental health by harnessing the power of conversation.

It's free, it's confidential, it's first-name-only and you don't book – you simply turn up. You can talk as much, or as little, as you like.

The concept was born out of tragedy. When 23-year-old Andy Roberts took his own life in 2016 and his brother-in-law Luke, arranged a gathering in his hometown of Halifax. Nine men showed up. "It's OK to talk," they were told, establishing the charity's slogan. After an hour or two, all agreed it had been worthwhile and helpful.

What happens at Hammersmith? I can't tell you exactly as phones are switched off, no note-taking's permitted, and what's said in the room stays in the room (a bit like Fight Club, but without the fighting). But we all began with a cuppa and biscuits before taking our seats in a circle of chairs.

"You might have six or seven people, you might have 15 or more," said a former service user, now 'facilitator', wearing a black T-shirt bearing the club logo. "So, how's your week been?" he asked the man on his left, passing him a small football.

One by one we all described the last few days; the ups and downs, and what was on our mind. When each of us had said what we wanted to say, the football was passed to the next man to signify he could have a turn if he wanted.

There's no pressure, although some speak for several minutes, outlining often harrowing catalogues of issues, piled one on top of the other. Next topic: name something positive that's happened this week.

The chat moved round the room again. Sometimes people raised a hand to share a thought, offer a similar experience or exchange a friendly word.

Relationship woes, financial difficulties, homelessness, bereavement (often delayed grief, long after a loved one has died), job problems… the kind of things that, oddly, it can be easier to share with complete strangers rather than your bestie, or your nearest and dearest.

It's a listening hub, based on the old principle that a problem shared is a problem halved, and Hammersmith's group has been running now for a year. Politics, religion, criminality and medication are no-nos, but all other talk is fine.

After nearly an hour there's a comfort break and another cuppa, with less formal nattering carrying on over a vape on the fire escape or a chit-chat at the kettle.

Andy's Man Club changes lives. Suddenly you're not alone, and the thought that may have been nagging away at the back of your mind now seems just that little bit less burdensome because it's out in the open. Connect via Facebook or Instagram, visit the charity's website here or simply turn up on a Monday.

Male suicide remains the biggest killer of men under 50, despite well-publicised efforts to destigmatise men's mental health struggles. Andy's Man Club is doing its bit to help.

Also available locally, The Listening Place in Shepherds Bush, where trained volunteers are waiting to help. Meanwhile a men's circle operates at some times of the year at the Sands End Arts & Community Centre in Peterborough Road, SW6.

There's always 24-hour help available at Samaritans by phoning 116 123 and further details for mental health and wellbeing services in H&F.

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