Coffee chats to contracts

Turning conversations into opportunities

Let's be honest: most of us are doing networking completely wrong. We're treating potential collaborators like vending machines – insert small talk, hope a contract falls out. It's exhausting, inauthentic, and soul-crushing.

Here's what I've learned after years of watching brilliant people struggle to connect: the magic isn't in perfecting your elevator pitch. It's in having the courage to show up as a whole human being and genuinely care about the person across from you.

Real networking requires vulnerability

Traditional networking feels performative because it is. We put on our "business faces" and wonder why these interactions leave us empty. People don't connect with your success stories – they connect with your struggles, your questions, and your authentic curiosity about their world.

I remember a fellow business owner spending 20 minutes listing their impressive clients. Then, almost as an afterthought, they mentioned struggling with impostor syndrome. That throwaway comment? That's where the real conversation began. Suddenly we weren't two business cards comparing achievements – we were two humans sharing a common challenge.

When we're vulnerable first, we give others permission to drop their guard. It's not about oversharing over lattes – it's about being honest about business challenges, admitting when you don't know something, and asking for help when you need it.

Coffee conversations that actually matter

Here's what most networking advice gets backwards: the goal isn't to pitch your services. It's to understand someone else's world so completely that you can spot opportunities they might have missed.

A graphic designer sits with a local manufacturer, genuinely curious about their business. Instead of offering design services, she asks about operational challenges. Turns out, they're struggling to communicate technical information to customers. Suddenly, it's not about logos – it's about solving a real problem costing them contracts.

This requires "intelligent curiosity" – asking questions beyond the obvious. Instead of "What does your business do?" try "What assumptions about your industry turned out completely wrong?" Listen for stories behind statistics. When someone mentions 200 per cent growth, ask "What did that growth cost you that you didn't expect?"

Technology that serves relationships

Most of us are terrible at follow-up. We have meaningful conversations, exchange details enthusiastically, then... nothing. This is where technology helps – not replacing human connection, but honouring the connections we've made.

Simple principle: if I can't remember someone's name and one specific thing about their business within 48 hours, I didn't listen properly. Tools like Notion's relationship templates or HubSpot's free CRM help track human details that matter – not just what someone does, but what excites them and how your paths might intersect.

AI transcription tools like Otter.ai (with permission) let you be fully present instead of frantically scribbling notes. The technology serves the relationship, not the other way around.

Three ways to transform your networking

1. The pre-coffee research ritual: Spend 15 minutes understanding their business context before meeting. Not to impress, but to ask better questions. Check their website, recent posts, industry news affecting them. Prepare three thoughtful questions. This isn't stalking – it's respect made visible.

2. The value-first follow-up: Within 24 hours, send something useful – a relevant article, helpful introduction, or thoughtful question extending your conversation. The goal isn't selling; it's demonstrating you listened and care about their success.

3. The monthly connection audit: Block monthly time to review relationships. Not chasing sales, but checking in with people you care about. Ask how their project went, congratulate LinkedIn wins, or inquire about industry challenges. These agenda-free touchpoints often create unexpected opportunities.

From performance to partnership

The shift from transactional networking to relationship building isn't just about better business outcomes – though those follow. It's about creating professional life aligned with who you actually are.

When you show up authentically, ask questions you genuinely want answers to, and follow up because you care, networking stops feeling like performance and starts feeling like community building.

Your network isn't potential customers – it's a community understanding the unique challenges of building something meaningful. The conversations become richer, relationships deeper, and contracts follow naturally.

The coffee is just the beginning. The contract is the by-product. The real prize is building a professional community where showing up as yourself isn't just enough – it's exactly what's needed.

Resources for meaningful business networking

• Federation of Small Businesses website
• Small Business Network UK's business associations and networking groups webpage
• LinkedIn's business networking tips
• West London Business website
• West London Chambers website
• Networking.London website
• Hammersmith Networking website

© Mark Elliott Coaching 2025