Sergio Rico of Fulham FC

Grim humour in Fulham’s hapless afternoon

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Sergio Rico of Fulham FC. PICTURE: GETTY IMAGES

Morgan Phillips
Morgan Phillips

By Morgan Phillips

Despite (or maybe because of) the problems encountered in the latter part of the 20th Century, Fulham FC had some notable fans.

These  include Brian (the snail from the Magic Roundabout), Wolfie (Citizen Smith) and Bamber, the knowledgeable removal man played by Warren Clarke in Moving Story.

It is my belief that Bristow the newspaper cartoon character also supported the Whites.

Daily bulletins ceased in 2012, which means that some people are unacquainted with the dapper little buying clerk in the Chester-Perry office block.

Bristow, a timid, workshy fantasist, honed certain skills in his working life. His superiority at desk top football led the handicapping committee to insist that he wore a wastepaper basket over his head when matched against lesser players.

Bristow plays desk top football
Bristow plays desk top football. DRAWING: FRANK DICKENS

Which team did Bristow choose to represent? Fulham of course.

Imagine a January morning as a forlorn Bristow waits on East Winchley station for his daily commute:

FELLOW COMMUTER: “Why so glum, old man?”

BRISTOW: “It’s Fulham. They scored three times at Burnley.”

FELLOW COMMUTER: “Not a bad effort surely.”

BRISTOW: “It is when two of them are own goals.”

There is a grim humour in Burnley becoming the first Premier League team to score twice without achieving a single shot on target.

It was particularly hard on Denis Odoi, who headed the home side’s winner.

Earlier in the match his 40-yard pass had enabled Andre Schurrle to put Fulham ahead with an artistry worthy of Goal of the Month.

We have been waiting for Schurrle and second half substitute Luca Vietto to show what they can do in the Premier League.

Mid-January is rather late but Fulham’s situation is not yet hopeless.

Though most supporters would agree on the need for a fresh and dynamic mid-fielder, it is not altogether reassuring to hear the Khans promise multiple signings to boost the team.

Neither Slavisa Jokanovic nor Claudio Ranieri has been able to assemble a winning team from the vast array of expensive players already at the club.

Would multiple signings make the situation better or worse?

The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and unless specifically stated are not necessarily those of Hammersmith & Fulham Council.

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