Shirley’s story – flexible fostering

Shirley’s story – flexible fostering

Shirley Wiggins, 55, has been a respite foster carer for the past five years. Working with Hammersmith & Fulham PACT – Parents and Carers Together – she provides foster care for young people where there is potential conflict with their families.

Shirley, who works in education at Wandsworth Council, said: “I had wanted to do fostering for a long time, but because of my job, I couldn’t commit to being a full-time carer. Then I heard about PACT which is really flexible.”

Every weekend, Shirley has young people aged 11-16 come to stay at her West Kensington home. Shirley sees the time as a chance for the teenagers, who are mostly young men, to experience new things – be that learning to cook, enjoying a walk in the park or understanding that each family is different and works in its own way.

Shirley says: “This type of fostering offers respite for families. Some of the kids that come to stay have ADHD and their parents are at their wits’ end and are exhausted. It gives them both some time out from each other, but I tell them ‘you don’t come to Shirley’s for a holiday – we’ve got work to do!’.

“You’ve got to have complete honesty and it does take time, but building a relationship is about building trust. It is about saying what you mean and doing what you say you will do, and you’ve got to be consistent.”

And though there are challenges along the way and a six-month selection process, Shirley knows that the support of her family and the fostering service have helped her through.

The carers meet once a month and if there are any problems the duty team are on hand to offer advice and guidance.

“I would tell anyone that wants to foster to do it!” says Shirley. “You have to have a sense of humour and be pretty strong but I love it and I can honestly say that it’s wonderful! One of my kids is going off to university soon and I’m so proud of him. It’s just fantastic to see a young person grow and develop.”