Lisa’s story – Anyone can be a carer
“The connotations of being in care are still, in general, negative,” says 20-year-old Lisa*. “There is a kind of stigma attached to it and that needs to change. People need to not keep that fact so hidden or get uptight about it.”
Lisa is talking honestly and openly about her own experiences of fostering. At 14, she and her younger siblings were put into kinship care - where children are fostered by their extended family. Lisa lived with her aunt and uncle for two years, while her brother, 11 at the time, and younger sister, four, went together to stay with another aunt.
“My older sister and I were persistently truanting and we missed a whole term of school. Social services got involved and initially spotted that we were suffering from emotional neglect,” says Lisa. Her younger brother was also clinically obese and her sister, 16, soon left school.
“My parents were having rows and stuff but we didn’t think it was that bad. They went to anger management classes that social services provided, and we were assigned so many different social workers. We were a pretty unusual case, really.”
While they were fostered, Lisa and her siblings continued to see each other and their parents, and though the road was rocky, three years later the family was brought together again. By this time, however, Lisa had moved into her own flat, which she says made her ‘really grow up’. Despite the upheaval, Lisa knows that there were some positive changes.
“I knew that if I didn’t get an education then I would never get on - I’m from a background where if you don’t have education, then you have nothing. It’s really important.”
Lisa went back to school regularly and focussed on getting her qualifications. She is now coming to the end of her first year as a social work undergraduate at a London university. And looking back on things now, what would she say makes a good foster carer?
“Being a foster carer doesn’t actually require much, in that if you’ve got parental aspects that come naturally, you fulfil basic human needs of providing care, support, love and understanding, then you can do it. Anyone can be a carer and there are so many different options – you can be a full-time, part-time or respite carer.
“We need to move away from fostering being seen as something that’s tedious or negative, because it’s not. Being a consistent adult is key and there are benefits, that are more than just financial.”
Lisa is now making her voice heard as part of the Corporate Parenting Panel for children’s rights, where she meets with senior managers and attends conferences to discuss how local authorities can make being in care better. She is now optimistic about the future and hopes her experiences can help others.
“I think that if I can speak up for children and young people who know what it’s like, and affect policy and the way things work, then hopefully I can make a difference.”
*Not her real name
Page last updated: 08/05/2010