Carer's stories
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Richard
Richard* has been a foster carer for 23 years, and is currently looking after Darren*, who comes from a very difficult background.
Richard had a difficult childhood himself and found his home unstable, leaving him feeling sidelined and insecure. He left home at a very young age and struggled to stay on the straight and narrow. It was this experience that inspired Richard to foster. “I wanted to give something back to the community. It’s nice to give children the stability that I lacked as a child”.
Richard admits that fostering can be very challenging, particularly the integration between foster children and his own children, but says that the benefits outweigh the challenges. “Having a foster home gives Darren stability, and it is important for him to know that he has support through difficult circumstances because he’s never had this before. He also has discipline for the first time, which – although he says he doesn’t like it – is important because it shows him that we care about him”.
And there are benefits in his own life too. “Fostering has definitely kept us young! It’s so enjoyable and you learn as much from the children you’re fostering as they do from you. Several of my previous foster children still come back to me for help or advice – it’s really rewarding to know they will still turn to me and I enjoy keeping in touch with them.”
Rosaline
Rosaline* has been a foster carer with Westminster for 14 years. She first became interested in fostering when her eldest child left home. “I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be nice’ to have another child in the house?’I wanted to share a bit of my family and my love for my children.”
Since then, she’s fostered dozens of children, many of whom have led a difficult life beforehand. ‘In most cases there are rough patches to begin with. But eventually the messages get through and they start to turn their lives around. I had one girl - she’d really had a tough start in life. Now she’s 21 and in full-time education. I recently went to visit her on an exchange programme in America. You still have contact with the children you foster - it’s like I’m a constant mum!
Asked about the impact on her own life, Rosaline says, ‘There’s so much to think about and so much to do. It is a challenge, but you get so much out of it. Even though I was already a mum, there was lots of stuff I didn’t know about children - each one is different. It’s so rewarding.’
* Names have been changed for confidentiality reasons.
Hammersmith & Fulham is now sharing its fostering service with Westminster and Kensington and Chelsea.
Visit www.westminster.gov.uk/fostering and www.rbkc.gov.uk/fosterus
To find out more about fostering call 0800 169 3497 or email fostering@lbhf.gov.uk
Page last updated: 22/05/2012
