Adoption story - Sally Balfour
Sally Balfour decided to adopt after being told that she would be unlikely to conceive due to medical problems. She says, “I took it for granted that I would be able to have children which is why I spent more of my time on my career as an interior designer”
The 47 year old from Hammersmith contacted Hammersmith & Fulham Council after finding out that the two children of one of her friends were actually adopted.
Sally’s initial contact with the social services department was followed by an in-depth process with home visits and training. “We had to look at ourselves and analyse our weaknesses and strengths. I wasn’t sure about adoption at first, but when I found out that there were many more black children in the care system, it became a duty. I really felt that my input was needed.”
Sally and her husband at the time adopted two year old twins Areta and Lawei. Sally freely admits that the road to adoption was not an easy one, and the early days with the twins were very hard.
“There were several difficult visits when I first met the children, but after a shaky start my maternal instincts began to come into play. I particularly remember when Areta hurt her eye and looked so vulnerable, I just wanted to protect her.
“We went to collect the children on the day they were due to move in – they were absolutely ready for it. They had got up at 4am and were sitting on the doorstep when we arrived. They next day we had a huge party and introduced them to other children in the neighbourhood.
“Eleven years on and we have really bonded as a family, but it was tough at first – because of their background they were extremely angry children and they needed a lot of love before they could trust me.”
In the early days Sally wasn’t sure she could accept contact with the birth family. “I wanted a child free of emotional baggage but I had to realise that I was not taking on a child to own it.”
Despite being realistic about the difficulties of adoption, there is no doubt in Sally’s mind that she would go through it all over again. “I love the twins more than anything else and would urge people thinking about adoption to just do it. There are thousands of children waiting for homes and black children in particular need black parents. Its not easy but I can’t imagine anything more rewarding.”
Page last updated: 04/08/2009
