Tracing your birth family

Support available from Hammersmith & Fulham council

How can I find out about my birth family?The Hammersmith & Fulham adoption team offers advice and support to people who were adopted through the borough.

We can only provide information about your birth family if you are over eighteen or have the support of your parents. We will need to see proof of your identity and any information you have about your circumstances to help us access your records. 

We aim to support people who have been adopted by:

• offering a counselling service
• helping people make sense of early life experiences
• tell you about any information we hold about you in a supportive environment
• give you a copy of all the information we hold that directly relates to you
• offer advice and support in searching for birth families
• offer support for reunions including acting as intermediaries if you wish   

Due to recent changes in the law, we now aim to support birth relatives of children who have been adopted by:

• offering support and advice
• arranging for you to meet other birth relatives
• providing you with non-identifying information from the records
• placing your information on file in case your child asks us for information in the future
• we will always put the needs of the child first and will respect the wishes of them and their families   

We are subscribers to The Post Adoption Centre and After Adoption, independent agencies who provide a range of post adoption services. This service is available to all our users and we will give you more information about how to access these services should you need to. 

If you would like further information or the opportunity to speak with a social worker please ring our freephone number: 0800 169 3497 and leave your details. A social worker will contact you the next working day. Alternatively you can write to us at: 

The Adoption and Permanence Team,
The Family Placement Unit, 
Barclay House, Effie Road, 
Fulham, London, SW6 1EN

What is it like to get in contact with your birth family?

You can never predict what might happen when you try to get in contact with your birth family. This is why it is important to consider carefully what you think would be best for you. 

Below is an account from a woman who decided to make contact with her birth mother:

“I've always been extremely curious about my background and throughout my teens planned to start searching for my birth mother as soon as I hit the legally required age of 18. 

However the more I thought about it, the more daunting a prospect it became. All the typical worries came to mind. Would my mother be horrified if I got into contact? Would it seriously affect her own personal life? Would I like what I met? Would she like me? All of these questions were unanswerable, of course but it took another ten years until I felt brave enough to start the process. 

Once I'd got in contact with social services I was advised about all the possible outcomes - all the things that had been playing on my mind. The process was slightly lengthier than I thought it would be because several organisations had to be contacted for information. Sadly, it turned out that my birth mother had died from a brain tumour when I was about 12 years old, so all my initial worries about her reaction turned out to be unimportant. However, I was extremely lucky because my birth mother's long-term boyfriend had left a letter with my original adoption agency explaining how happy he'd be to meet me and talk to me about my mother and family. 

I contacted my birth mother's partner immediately and on a trip down to Cornwall a month or so later I found myself driving across to the village where she lived and paying him an unexpected visit. I also met my birth mother's sister quite shortly after.

The first few months were a mad blur, to say the least and I became quite depressed. It took another couple of years before I got over the initial shock and got in contact again with my birth family. 

One thing that I'd never considered having to prepare for was the amount of guilt that is involved with adoption. Raking up so many unhappy memories and sadness for so many people hasn't felt very good. However, the more I've talked it through with my adopted and birth families the easier it's got. In many ways though, it's been a very positive experience and I know I'm one of the very lucky ones and have managed to trace my birth mother. It's been really, really good to put all the pieces of the puzzle together and especially to get to know my birth family.”